Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Humiliation and Embarassment. It's All Good!
I see a lot of pet play on the Internet. I'm wondering how you all feel about it? It's obviously popular enough that there are sites dedicated to it. However, I can only see elements that I like. It should be pretty clear I like collars and leashes, I like slaves naked and crawling across the floor, and since I like ball gags and blow jobs it should be obvious that I like to see a slave’s mouth wrapped around something. However my choice for that something would NOT be a newspaper or a bone! I wouldn't have my slaves bark or pant (at least not in the context of panting like a dog). How do you all feel about pet play?
However, this would not interfere at all with how much I love collars, leashes and crawling; which I do not see as pet play, but as submissive and demeaning acts. I not only find erotic humiliation very sexy, but think it is an integral part of slave training and an important part of any relationship with a submissive. This is obviously a broad subject that can be used in many ways, and there will be other posts that cover other aspects of it, like how I speak to slaves and how they say they want to speak and be spoken to, and already I know we have touched on this in other posts too. Kayla and slave S responded extremely well to collars, leashes, crawling and many forms of humiliation and overt subjugation. We all found humiliation like this to be an exciting and important part of their submission. M, as I mentioned, was resistant to leashes and crawling as well as actively performing other demeaning acts at first and was not able to embrace such behavior until there was a mental shift that allowed her to let go completely. A lot of the blogs I find are mainly focused on spankings, with or without implements, and not as much on submission and humiliation, even when they say they are talk about 24/7. When they do mention other things it is often a short paragraph. I have no sense from the blogs I have found what others think of all these things. I have found some foreign blogs that seem to cover more of those details except I don’t speak the language and have to figure it out from the few words I know and the pictures they supply. A lot of those who write about 24/7 end up writing about their personal issues and all the time they don’t get to participate in the scene. This is informative but not instructive. If your relationship is bad--- D/S is not going to fix it, unless it's bad because your sex life is unfulfilling and it turns out you're both interested in D/s, then it could help. The reality is that people and relationships are far more complicated than just great sex. And even people who want to incorporate the scene into their entire life have to realize that disagreements and emotional incompatibility can still come up. Even if you give over control of decision-making to someone else, you will find you have your own wants and needs and thoughts because you're a human being. This is why I can write about a few different women over the years , because the D/s can be great but the relationship can grow apart over the years because of basic incompatibilities outside of sex. Beyond that, you may think you want something but it may run contrary to what you really like or need. Kayla, for instance, would tell me she wanted me to make all the decisions and to control everything. Then, even the smallest decisions like what restaurant we would go to would be question with something to the effect of "are you sure you really feel like that place? I was thinking maybe we'd eat this kind of food!" Despite this submissive desire to give up control Kayla was also a bitch who wanted everything her way. Because she truly did want to be tied up and whipped and commanded to serve this was somewhat less evident during sex. However, even during sex it would rear its annoying head, but not nearly as much as in our daily life. Ah, if only relationships and human emotions were as direct and straightforward as D/s! We would no doubt have fewer partners in our lives but may enjoy it much more! But anyway…back to humiliation. There are, obviously many ways to erotically humiliate a slave; collars and leashes are just the beginning. I will talk about a few others but will leave out what I have done with fruit as you can read about that in a post at the sister blog—Entering Submission. Other humiliating acts that I find sexy and an integral part of submission are drinking and eating out of pet bowls on the floor (however, usually drinks and maybe fruit, but NEVER actual pet food!). Using the slave’s asshole and pussy as candle holders. Making slaves do things to themselves, whether touching themselves or inserting various objects into their pussy, mouth or asshole. Hurting themselves, especially their nipples—twisting and pinching, clamping, swinging weighted clamps, etc. Inserting large or shaped or bumpy things into their asshole. Although all of the subs I know shave while grooming, I them to leave some pubic hair. I like the way it looks; I don't like completely clean-shaven because I don't feel that adults are supposed to look that way. If it is a subs personal preference to shave completely bare I won't force the issue, but besides liking the way a small well groomed triangle of hair locks, I also enjoy making Them pluck out some of their pubic hair with tweezers. Some, like Kayla, refuse to leave any hair and like to be totally clean shaven. So, when I am in the mood to have them pluck their own hair or for me to do it, since I cannot with Kayla, I simply choose a punishment that I know will be much, much more painful and I remind her of why I chose that punishment each and every time. I know some people have made self spanking videos, I have seen professional self spanking videos online and I have read where some dominance have insisted that their slaves self spank. I have never gotten into that myself, and don't find watching that particularly erotic. About the only other self punishments I can think that I have had slaves inflict upon themselves would be where I have a large dildo attached to a chair with some thumbtacks positioned around it and I have made slaves first give the go-go blow job, then have them set their pussy on it to get it nice and wet, both times allowing them to avoid the thumbtacks, and then finally having them sit their asshole's on the dildo and taking it all the way up until they were seated with their cheeks pressed against the thumbtacks. The only other thing I can think that I have done is when I had more than one slaves, and I had them connected by nipple clamps and had them pull away from each other, or had them yelling at stance with a long double headed dildo in both of their asshole's, and made them push against each other to see who could take more of the large dildo up their ass. More likely when I have to subs to gather and I want to watch something I will either have them hurt each other or have some sexual contact with each other. Moving on to other ways that I like to see my subs erotically humiliated, there is cleaning the house naked or in a revealing French maid outfit. Putting a duster or broom or mop sticking out of their asshole or mouth for them to use. Strapping on a face sponge for cleaning or making them use their tongue to clean the bathroom (as I mentioned, I prefer to do this particular thing with a clean bathroom). I am interested to see what some of you have come up with that I haven't even thought of. I have never really taken part in any discussion groups and everything that I've done with my slaves has come from my head or from things I read. My slaves were all less experienced than me except at the beginning when we were both inexperienced. However when we were both inexperienced I had done more reading, looking at pictures and watching movies. When we discussed the fantasies I found that mine were much more involved in varied than the girls that I was talking to. At this point I can't remember to tell you what I came up with and what I read about. There are two things I read, however, that have always stood out in my head. One was from a supposed "real letters" magazine and the other was a book written anonymously supposedly from the Victorian era. In the first one, the Mistress explained that she liked to drink the wine by candlelight so she would “have her slaves bend over a chair and then insert a candle into their anus”. The other was a scene where they had 2 captives bent over a little bench. One woman was bent over and the other was bent the opposite way, so that one's face was positioned right next to the other ones butt an on the opposite side you had the other person's face next to the other ones butt. Both the girls were naked. A man came over what a small whip, pulled down his pants, shoved his cock into one of the girls pussies and after fucking her for a while, pulled out and then fucked her asshole for a while. Then he pulled out of her ass and then put his cock to the mouth of the girl whose face was right next to that girl's ass. If she didn't immediately open her mouth and accept his cock to clean and suck it, he went around with the short whip and beat her ass until she begged for him to put it into her mouth. This went on, with the guy going back and forth from one girls pussy and ass to the other’s mouth, then from that one’s pussy and ass to the other’s mouth, occasionally beating their asses when they were not quick and eager enough to comply. That was a vivid scene I have not forgotten all these years later. Back when I read it I desperately wished I could see that scene in a movie. I never got to see it in a movie, but eventually I got to act that scene out for real and it was every bit as exciting as I imagined. Now it’s true that last thing is more sexual than the others, but I have to think that having your face right next to the pussy and ass I'm fucking and then watching me out of the corner of your eye, as I pull out and present my cock to your mouth has to be humiliating. Admittedly, unlike in the story I read, no coercion was necessary as the slaves willing to do this scene were both into other girls and either knew I would make sure my cock came out of their asshole's clean enough or didn't care, because they eagerly took my cock in every time and never gave me cause to punish them. However, since I wanted to punish them, I held the small wooden paddle and bend over and paddled their asses while they sucked on my cock to urge them to take me deeper. It was an incredible experience I look forward to repeating with new slaves at some point. The only other area I can think of where the acts comprise a large humiliation factor of things like tongue baths and oral servitude. Many times my subs could be found kneeling on the floor with their face buried between my cheeks tonguing my asshole. Or my laying on a bed while they carefully and thoroughly cleaned and kissed and licked every inch of my body with their tongue; paying particular attention to cleaning my feet, my ass, and thoroughly washing my balls with their tongue before moving on to the rest of my body and then ending back at my cock. Other things? Although I have used slaves as a footstool, or more likely enjoyed watching other women use them as footstools, I am not into the whole human furniture thing. I don't smoke but I used to indulge in cigars every now and then, but was more likely to threaten a slave with the lit end then to deposit the ashes in their mouth. It always seemed like a sufficiently interesting and degrading act, but in actuality seemed like a smelly and unhealthy thing to do. I await your comments to see what you have done and what you can come up with.