Friday, May 28, 2010

What the Well Dressed Slave is Wearing.

I find what I allow a slave to wear is dependent on what I plan to do with them, and what I know about them. That is inclusive of the fact that I like to see things that are revealing and fit their ass a certain way; thongs and panties of that nature. In truth, it is rare that I will dress a slave in panties when they are submitting to me; however it may be what I expect them to wear when I first arrive. If that is the case it's always a thong or those boy short panties that are tight and sit right between the cheeks. If it is clothing that they will be staying in while they submit it probably won’t cover their ass, pussy or breasts. It might be a corset, or leather bustier with garters attached for stockings, but one that doesn't cover the breasts at all. In fact, I dress them in many styles of black leather or black or white lace garments that either do not cover the breasts or have areas cut out so that the breasts hang through them, I have even purchased thin formfitting black dresses that have cutouts for the breasts. In this way, we get to try something different, a bit embarrassing much like your typical French maid outfit, but also something few slaves are familiar with. It is also an outfit that is particularly humiliating when they have to parade around in front of other women with their tits hanging out and the dress barely covering their ass. Some women have enjoyed the outfit more than I expected when it was just them alone with me because they knew that the dress looked very good on them because of their full breasts. Not every slave is built to wear that kind of outfit and that’s fine, I do not have a particular preference for the size of a woman’s breasts. It is important when you choose an outfit for your slave, that it accentuates those aspects of her body that are most attractive or that she believes are most attractive. Many submissives do not have high self esteem and cannot see themselves for what they really are: wonderful and beautiful women that allow us to live out our fantasies while they live out their own. What a boring world it would be without them! But I have some further thoughts about that for later. Anyway, naturally, when I do dress a slave in one of these outfits they are already wearing what I consider to be standard slave-wear, (unless I have a specific desire for something different), and that is a thick black leather slave collar and black leather wrist and ankle cuffs. With these at any time I want I can secure them to something, just lock their hands behind their back, or attach a leash and lead them to crawl wherever I choose. Often when they wear that little dress with the cut outs they are wearing an outfit underneath that exposes their breasts as well as the lower half of their body, usually with black stockings. After they serve for a while in the full outfit, I have them remove the dress to expose the next layer underneath. If I choose that they will go out in that outfit, a jacket will cover their exposed breasts, they will wear one of the designer dog collars and not wear ankle or wrist cuffs. They still have to contend with the fear that somebody passing close by will see into their jacket and see that their breasts are sticking out of their dress. Whether I have them wear anything underneath that dress or not, when we are alone the dress is nice and short so I need only have them kneel on the floor and I can pull it up and expose whatever I want to punish or use! Another type of outfit I like to dress my slaves in is really just elaborate sets of leather straps and metal O-rings keeping them together. One strap acts as a thong and goes between the cheeks and another goes between their legs, small enough to slide between their lips so it always ends up soaking wet before I strip them out of that outfit. I also have used outfits that not only have cutouts for the breasts but are open in the front and back. These outfits allow them to wear something sexy but does not cover anything that I might want to get at! Being open in the back doesn't always afford enough access to beat the bare ass, but an ass does not always have to be bare to be punished. I can only think of one outfit at the moment I have ever dressed slaves in that was made specifically to cover the pussy and asshole, or should I say---to fill them. It is in essence a black leather panty, the material about the size of a thick thong in the back and about the same size as a bikini panty in the front, with screw eyes on the rear and front to attach various size plastic appendages. In this way, I can attach an array of dildos on each end to put up their ass and pussy. Often I will attach one large dildo and one small vibrator and then I will explain to them as I hold it up to show them, that a good girl gets the big dildo up their pussy and the small vibrator up their asshole, but a slave like them gets the big dildo up their asshole and the little vibrator in their pussy. After a while a slave gets to know their Master pretty well and all I have to do is show them the dildos I have attached and they can tell me what's going up their asshole and what's going in their pussy. I will often have them use their pussy to provide the lubrication and since they are already holding the panties and inserting the dildos for lubrication, I will often instruct them to put those “punishment panties” on once they have them lubricated. Now, unless I use the very biggest dildos for their ass, most slaves can put these panties completely on by themselves. M, however, always had a problem with inserting objects up her own asshole. I used to train her by commanding her to insert her fingers or very small butt plugs up her ass . If she failed, which was almost always the case at the beginning, I would then punish her in two ways. One way would be either an ass beating, back whipping or various kinds of nipple punishment, but then the second punishment would be that I would insert an object much, much larger than what I had originally asked her to use, into her asshole. It might be left inside her for a certain amount of time, or it might have to be pulled in and out rapidly like it was fucking her. Often it would be left in for a certain amount of time and I would command her to every five minutes or so, fuck her asshole five times with it. At first, she would reach back hesitantly at the required time and pull on it but not with much enthusiasm. I would explain to her that this would not do and I would punish her in some way, such as hang weights off nipple clamps that would not be removed until she successfully completed the task, and then inform her that if that did not work, I would do the act for her, but first I would insert something much bigger than even that big rubber cock or plastic dildo already up her ass. As difficult and distasteful as she found doing things to her own asshole, the weights hanging off her nipples and the threat of something even bigger forced up her ass usually got her to finally do the things to her asshole that I wanted to see her do. Finally, she would find a way to put the "punishment panties" on herself and then I would have her put clothes over them and then I would take her out for drinks somewhere very crowded. I was always trying to get her to find me a place to go where the ladies room had no doors on the stalls so that if she had to go to the bathroom while we were out other women would see her remove the plugs under her black leather panties. She never admitted to a public place with a bathroom like that, and anyway did her best not to have to use the bathroom when we went out under those circumstances. I will also dress a slave in high heeled shoes because of the way it presents her ass, although I like barefoot because it really conveys the nakedness and submission, but sometimes being naked except for wearing high heeled shoes makes a slave feel even more exposed and embarrassed! I'm pretty consistent that I like collars. While I'm not into the big wide posture collars, I do like real leather and chains slave collars. I will only allow slaves to wear dainty little dog collars when we're in public. I like wrist and ankle cuffs not only because they're functional in providing an easy and quick way to bind my slaves but because I like the way they look having black leather and chains on the wrist and ankles. As I said, I like stockings, garter belts and though used a little less often I do like corsets and high heeled shoes. While I like the way thongs look the reality is I prefer my slaves naked and exposed. About half the time probably the only thing they're wearing is their slave collar and cuffs. I am not into dressing my slaves like young school girls, though one slave early on liked to act out being sent for punishment at an all girls college, then forced to become my slave because her financial aid did not work out and I was happy to go with that. At those times we did dress her in school type skirts and white stockings!
As for what I wear, I have to admit that I don’t give nearly as much thought to that. Usually dark pants, black tee and bare feet, unless I wear shoes that I expect her to clean with her tongue. Sometimes I will have the slave kneel over the shoes and rub their pussy on them to get the shoe all wet, then polish the shoes with her tongue. I will often be meeting a slave after work and like being dressed in a formal suit while they are completely naked. I find my slaves respond well to that too, though the ones that get the wettest from that also used to protest the most when they were completely naked and I was dressed. Now I realize they protested because they were embarrassed, and now they realize they were excited because they were embarrassed. I do like to see a Mistress dress a certain way though. I like high heeled shoes or boots. A black thong or snug black panties. I prefer topless but a black leather strap affair is good too. If the mistress is not looking to be naked at that time in front of the slave than a short skirt and minimal top are acceptable. As you can see there is not a world of difference between how I would dress a dominant woman and a submissive one. Obviously when it is my choice I like to see women look a certain way! I have tried to take advice from submissive women on how to dress as I seem to be able to put a lot more creative thought into how they should dress. They have not really had a lot of ideas, and interestingly if I solicit an opinion they can always give me ideas of how they could dress inside or in public, and even how a dominant woman can dress, but primarily they don't seem to have very developed ideas about how a dominant man should dress. Most have mentioned the color black although some like snug white T-shirts. Some have mentioned that I should dress well, often commenting, as I mentioned above, that a suit works well. If I'm going to wear shoes that they can polish with their tongue or that I will be ordering them to clean. I guess I do like dressing in a suit and staying dressed while they are naked or nearly naked. I would be very interested if any of you have any suggestions as to what a master should wear, as well as your comments about what the well-dressed slave should be wearing. Also, while I've been getting some comments, some of those I've invited have been commenting regularly, and I've been getting some private e-mails from those who comment and from people who read the blog but don't comment on it, but nobody has offered to contribute to a post. You don't have to write a whole post but if you have a paragraph that six something I'm going to put out we can include it. Also, if you have a significant and lengthy comment to make you can e-mail it to me and I'll make a separate post as a follow-up post so that it's more visible than a comment would be if somebody doesn't click on that particular post.
Now, I would like to add a little bit that came to me while I was writing this post. It's a broader topic than just outfits, but as you can tell often my posts begin a certain way but lead to many areas and experiences. So I have some thoughts on complementing a submissive, and dealing with their self-esteem. In my actual experience from submissive women along with the stories I have been exposed to about submissive men, I believe there are some significant differences. Therefore if you have primarily had experiences dominating men you might not agree with what I have to say here but I am quite sure I'm right about submissive women. So please, if you are a submissive woman and you do not agree with what I say now please comment and let me know, because I may be mistaken. I have heard stories and actually seen some “dominant” men, those who clearly cannot rely on their abilities to control, command, support and care for the women in their life because they do not know how, that prey upon the low self esteem and insecurities of those submissives they are lucky enough to find. They seek to convince them that they are unattractive and undesirable so that they will not leave them for a better man (or woman). A submissive woman is a gift to be cherished, and to appreciate like a fine wine, and I suggest to any submissive girls reading this that if you find you are in a relationship with this type of dominant --- one that doesn't make you feel good about yourself, one that degrades you in ways or at times that you're not looking for ---- one that hurts you but not in a good way----GET AWAY--- and don't worry ------there is always someone else out there for you---many others, in fact---I am quite sure there are many people out there for everyone. Never settle! Now, dressing submissives in outfits that accentuate their positive physical attributes can sometimes be challenging, because if they do not have good self esteem they will not see how great they look in the outfit, and they may not be comfortable with you seeing them in it. You will need to convince them that you appreciate how they look. They will know, not only from what you say, but how you react. Your pleasure will tell them all they need to know. I do not ever say negative things about a slave’s body. I understand that some male slaves, when they like to be verbally abused by their Mistress (or Master too perhaps), they expect to hear about their pathetic small cocks, and worthless balls or what-have-you, but I do not find that women work that way and I have never felt the need to say anything derogatory about their bodies. I am quite sure---(but again, correct me if I am mistaken), that though they may want to be called a dirty, cock sucking, asshole licking, slave whore---they do not want to hear that they are fat, pathetic, have small tits, or anything else like that. Dress them like the slave whores they are---but make sure they know how much it turns you on.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

The Importance of Being Whipped (or whatever it takes to get what you need)!

In a recent post I asked different things about your punishment; what is your favorite, what don't you like, how you most often get punished, etc. Although there haven't been a lot of comments compared to the larger number of people reading the post, I have received some direct e-mails. I've got enough e-mails that I thought I should do a post that addresses them. The questions I'm asked in those are how do I discuss with my slaves what punishments they like and don't like, what did I ask to find out that they can't tolerate as much right before their periods, if a slave doesn't like the punishment I'm particularly fond of would I stop seeing the slave, or ignore her feelings and do whatever I want, or find another solution (another slave?)?
Okay, I would have to say that in most cases the answers to these questions become apparent over time and while I think the direct approach of a discussion is valuable, some people cannot put into words what are their preferences, but they do become apparent, both to the submissive and the discerning Master. S is the only submissive to ever specifically address individual punishment implements and styles of punishment. She told me that the cane and paddle hurt the most and that it was difficult for her to handle it if I was going to hit the same spot two or more times in a row. She said as long as I moved the strikes around as I did the punishment and id not strike too rapidly she could handle any implement and any amount of force I chose to administer. M has brought up what hurts the most, tight clamps on the very tips of her nipples, severe and rapid paddling of her ass with the heavy wooden sorority paddle she bought me as a present, and anal penetration with large objects. She was not making a judgment or asking for any changes, she was just letting me know how things felt. I have to admit when a slave can handle it, I enjoy a rapid paddling or caning with very little pause between strokes but since I'm very comfortable working within a slave's limits that's not something that I do very often. M. and K. could handle it occasionally, Kayla thought she could handle it but found she could not and I didn't have to even attempt to subject with the others as it's very clear they could not handle that. I have found that while there are things I enjoy with people who can handle them I don't really miss them with people who cannot. I believe I have certain minimum things that I need to do on a regular basis but as of yet everyone I have met and spent time with have been more than able to accommodate those needs. Interestingly, when M and I were talking about some severe forms of punishment that we’d seen in foreign videos she was interested yet scared of some of the intense nipple torture that they were trying. She wanted to see what pins in her nipples breasts felt like. What was interesting is that after trying some of this, she found that these particular acts did not come anywhere near her list of the most painful punishments. She found that the clamps at the very tips of her nipples were far worse than the pins. The funny thing is while I like clamps on nipples and never let my slaves off easy by placing the clamps back behind their nipples, I also don't look to put them on the very tips which I know would be incredibly painful. The time M is thinking of is the first time I made her put tight clamps on her own nipples. She'd never done anything like that before and wasn't sure how to place them and she put them too far forward. When she felt how painful they were immediately became, she realized she'd made a mistake, but being the excellent submissive that she is, she did not even reach to take them off but instead began begging me to take them off or allow her to remove them because they were so painful. I made her wait several seconds while I considered it, and then I removed them and was extremely pleased that despite the immediate urgency of the pain it did not occur to her for even a second that she should remove the clamps without first getting my permission. Since she'd worn nipple clamps many times in the past and could tell what pain to expect ahead of time,(usually minor until they were left on for some time or severe if they had weights attached), she was so unprepared for the level of pain she felt because the clamps were in the wrong spot that she has remembered that little incident for a long time after it occurred. I remember it to this day for other reasons, because that was near the beginning of her training, but she was so eager to please me and so genuinely submissive that her standing there in pain begging me to take off the clamps but unwilling to remove them herself without permission, was so exciting that I still think about it. Now, you might be thinking a slave shouldn't remove clamps if they hurt, it's up to the master and that’s true. If I had put the clamps on her and they hurt I would not expect her to do anything but beg for mercy. The difference is, she placed them where she thought she should, not where she thought would be least painful, and since she clearly put them on wrong, it would not seem unreasonable for her to think she could readjust them herself. But once she did as I commanded, it was clearly unthinkable for her to risk disobedience by readjusting them in any way without permission. I think it's a subtle difference but spoke to her commitment to her submission to me. Whether you're in a casual physical relationship or in a deeply committed partnership the needs, desires and concerns of the slave are as important as the master’s. This does not mean there should not be negotiation and limits testing. Ultimately, if a slave didn't like the same things I did it would probably be hard to have a long term relationship. However, that does not mean that the slave and I have to be 100% compatible on every issue. I knew a girl, slave T., she loved bondage, nipple torture and crawling around on collar and leash. Since I like all that too there was no problem there. However, for some reason, she couldn't really handle anything more than a mild spanking. She also was not a big fan of anal sex. The inability to take a hard whipping was a bit problematic given my proclivities. I have to say that because she wanted to be with me, during our short time together, she asked to be trained in taking harder whippings and anal insertions. We were working with different whips and small to moderate butt plugs when we stopped seeing each other. I am pleased to say that because of her positive attitude our sex life was not related to our breakup. It was for other plain-vanilla incompatibilities. Had she been completely unwilling to address the issues however, it might have been another story. If there is supposed to be a chance of a permanent relationship; I would never say her feelings were unimportant, but I know my needs and desires are going to be at least equally important to me. If either one of us is going to be significantly dissatisfied it's just not going to work out, just as if I tried to force her to do things she didn't want to do---- it would no doubt become a relationship breaker for her. Sometimes, when I am looking around the internet, it's hard for me to tell when I'm reading blogs about 24/7 and domestic discipline what the agenda actually is. These people seem to feel that their spouse knows better and is in a position to help them be better people through corporal punishment. It is often not clear to me if the person being punished is enjoying it at any level or if there is anything sexual about it. Sometimes they write about the fact that after they get punished they get fucked, but it's not clear to me that the punishment enhances anything for them, although it seems clear that the person doing the punishing likes to do these things. (Right? If neither of them is enjoying it just what are they doing there???) I know I have been involved in things where the person is doing them because they want to please me. At some point or another every submissive with me has probably been punished a bit more painfully than they would choose if they were always in control of the level of pain. Even though she was clearly excited I believe M would never have been with another woman if she wasn't my slave. So I am not looking to make value judgments about anybody, I'm just trying to understand what motivates some of the people to be involved in the same kind of activities I enjoy so much, when their rationale appears to be so different from mine. Take some of the girls asking me questions in emails, from the tone of them, some of them seemed surprised at the level of concern I have for what my slave is thinking, feeling and concerned about. Is this coming from relationships they've been in? The submissive women who've been with me are people I care about and am attracted to and we share common interests and goals. This isn't a fiction book or a movie, this is real life and they are real people. If they ceased being real people and became my mindless punching bag I don't think that would be good for either of us. Also, forgetting for a moment that these are real people with real feelings and their own desires in life, there are real benefits for both of us that everything isn't so easy or black-and-white. If I thought M would unquestioningly AND uncaringly do anything I command, it would not have been as exciting for me when she was with another woman because I would not think a small piece of her is a bit embarrassed by the whole thing. However, it would also not be exciting for me if she did these things for me and drew no enjoyment from them herself. During any of these scenes I could check her at any time and she was always very wet and despite any protestations or feigned hesitancy, she always performed eagerly. If she weren’t responding in that way we would not have continued, and I think it's important that we both knew this. Everything I do with submissives, including testing limits and stretching boundaries, is consensual. However, this doesn't mean I sit down with my slaves before or after we're together and negotiate every move. For a lot of us this would kill the mood anyway. I can tell from their reaction usually what's working and what isn't. If something is really not good for one of them I will usually hear some time after the event. If something is unacceptable but somehow we hadn't discussed it yet, I imagine anyone I was with would let me know immediately. That has never come up before because a lot of talking goes on at the beginning of a relationship, even if it is based primarily on D/s. Hopefully this answers the questions that I've been receiving for anyone who might have had them also but hasn't emailed me directly.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Does the Punishment Fit the Slave?

How do you like to be punished? Or how would you choose to be punished? How do you hate getting punished? How are you most afraid to get punished? And what punishment turns you on the most? Will your favorite punishment be the one that turns you on the most? Are you afraid of the punishment that you “hate”? How do you get punished the most? And why are you punished?
I read a lot of blogs where people are punished for specific infractions. Often they are real things in life like forgetting to pick up the dry cleaning or getting home late. I have to admit I was never so into that kind of punishment and maybe I should have been and I would've had less arguments with people over time. I punish my slaves for performing specific slave, humiliating and sexual tasks. I also punished slaves because I enjoy it so I schedule it regularly. The only time I have punished the slave for real life stuff is when it occurs during our scene. For example, if I tell a slave to wear a collar, no panties and meet me somewhere at 6 PM and she either forget and wears panties or arrives late, especially because she forgot her collar and had to go back for it, are reasons I would punish someone for real things. The other has occurred when I have been with a woman who may have dominated one of my slaves in the past, and was now ready to see what it was like to serve alongside a slave or to try bisexuality. In these cases, in order to create the scene, I have instructed the slave to be clothed and at the door instead of r naked and in position. I will then walk in with the usually dominant woman, who was silently undress and get into the position the slave would usually greet us in. I would explain because of lateness, forgetfulness, whatever, this bitch was going to be punished and was going to serve as slave to the slave. This always served as a great bridge scene for this situation. It put the usually dominant woman in the place she requested, which was to serve and be punished by another woman instead of dominate and punish her. Usually it was not difficult to get a normally submissive girl to punish and command another woman because in the past this woman had punished that same slave and had commanded her to do all kinds of things to her body, either sexually or to embarrass her. This was the case between slave S and slave M. Slave S had the ability to switch even though she was primarily submissive. She was curious about being with another woman but was scared to take the plunge. After M had gotten into the new mindset of serving me completely, I decided she would be an excellent slave to S occasionally. And she was. I have to admit that using M sexually with other women was particularly exciting because I knew she would do it but she professed to not doing it for any reason other than her Master expected it. She made it clear it was part of her submission not her curiosity. I would have had them be together regularly but the real world rarely works that way, and it would not have been fair to M (though I should note she was always excited during these times and was able to cum every chance I allowed her) so I got them together on a very occasional basis. Eventually, S wanted to serving a woman sexually. So for the first time we decided to set the scene with M by my telling her that S. has been running late all the time and was going to be punished being M’s slave that day. M really put S through her paces. When she wasn't demanding S’s tongue up her ass or eating her pussy, she was whipping S, hurting her nipples, strapping on a big dildo and fucking S up the ass. Interestingly, S. let me know afterward that she found it exciting to do all these thing to another woman, but would prefer her serving right alongside another woman instead of being dominated by her. I asked if that was because she did not like how much M chose to punish her? She said she didn't care what I chose to have done to her, even if she had been punished just as much, but it would be more enjoyable for her if I commanded M to punish her or to sit on her face, rather than it come from M herself. So the next time, I had M. naked and waiting for us in her slave position, bent over the end of the couch with her hands reaching back spreading her cheeks and when we came in, S got undressed, walked over to M and got into the same position right alongside her. From that point on, whenever I got them together, that was the way I had S. and M. serve together, unless I specifically wanted to watch one dominate the other, in which case I often had S dominate M. One of the things I enjoy about watching a slave dominate another submissive is that even though they hear the commands regularly, have to perform the acts, and receive the punishment; they are often not as convincing and severe as they could be when dominating another. Because of this I get to punish them for not being severe enough or demanding enough, while enjoying them dominating and punishing the other slave.
Now, if I had to answer the question and choose a favorite punishment, it could be beating an ass with a wooden paddle, or it could be using a braided cat’o nine tails that raises lovely welts but can be used for far longer than a paddle. Maybe my favorite way to punish a slave is to make her do things that excite her that she would not choose to do on her own, such as serving another woman. Fortunately, picking a favorite is not the same as limiting one’s activities. I could not do that. I like to vary my repertoire as much as I like to vary my other sexual activities. When not engaging in D/s I do not just do one thing or get on one position. I like to take a girl from behind, lick her ass and eat her pussy for as long as she can take it, get blow jobs, anal sex, sex in the bath, in the shower, etc.,etc., etc.! I would not be happy limiting my activities, yet I see people on the internet that label themselves “spankos” and are very happy to do so. I have been on sites of spanking videos, where spanking means with any implement from a hand to cane to paddle, but fans have complained when there was bondage, nipple play, forced acts and other role-play with dress up, collars and crawling. There are clearly people out there who very specifically want to beat an ass, and indeed they talk about it like that's a goal in itself. For some of them, they separate the act from sex. I can, and do that as well, when appropriate. If a slave is supposed to undergo a specific punishment for a reason, if they are to be punished without enjoying themselves, if we have a scenario to play out and they will be punished periodically throughout and entire day or weekend; all of these would dictate the punishment without immediate sexual gratification. However, in general, to me and the women that I've been with, the purpose of a lot of this is as foreplay. I would be very interested to know what you people out there think of this! Is punishment all you are ever looking for, or is it foreplay? Could you be satisfied with one kind of punishment? If your ass was spanked and whipped regularly but you never felt another nipple clamp, never crawled on a leash or said “whatever you want Master” again would you be fulfilled as a submissive, and could you be fulfilled sexually?
Going back to my question, from my perspective, choosing a favorite punishment is more complicated than it appears. Let’s take the first choice I mentioned, the wooden paddle. Actually, though I enjoy it, it is probably what I use the least! This is because when wielded with force it is the most painful and damaging of all my generally used implements. I have another implement that I use even less than the wooden paddle, which is a very heavy leather loop at the end of a riding crop handle. From various sites that sell these things it has been called a flogger, a carpet beater, and on one site that sold a version made out of rope, it was said to be one of the most painful and potentially damaging of all punishment implements. Only K. and M. could handle it. That’s why, in general, for standard punishment that may be for an infraction but is usually mostly for my pleasure, I prefer to use implements that allow me to use a good amount of force yet allow the slave’s skin and pain tolerance to take prolonged punishment. Therefore those implements I use the most are a folded over leather bullwhip (which is much less painful and damaging than an unfurled bull whip wielded forcefully), a two-tailed short leather quirt, a thin black dressage riding whip and a moderately weighted rattan cane. I also have several cat o'nine tailss of varying weights and lengths, some whose tails are knotted. These can make an ass or a back turn beautifully red, leave some welts, yet are easy enough to take so that the whipping can go on for as long as I choose. The cane and the dressage whip can be particularly painful if wielded with force and if I intend to use them very hard, may have to be used more judiciously. In fact, as you should know any of the whips if wielded with enough force can only be used so long before the pain or damage to the skin can become excessive. I like to see a pained reaction in my slave’s face and I like the punishment to continue as long as I feel the need, but at the same time I respect each individual's limits and while I am happy to work with them to expand those limits, I am also quite willing and able to remain within them. When you are both interested in expanding limits, it is important to remember that a slave's limits are also fluid and affected by things beyond what you are doing.. Slaves like M and K were able to regularly take severe punishment and showed few limits, however there are times of the month when neither could handle much nipple punishment and neither could tolerate more than a moderate whipping. In this regard they are much like any other women I've known; the week before their period they are often too sensitive to stand much punishment. The two weeks after their period was over was the time that all the submissives I've known could tolerate the most punishment; the hardest whipping, paddling and most severe nipple torture and anal insertions. Have you found that for yourself or others you know? Finally, in my case since the D/s is about mutual satisfaction and often sexual gratification, what I asked at the beginning of this post is very important for me to know. M liked anal punishment, severe nipple punishment, hard whippings and forced humiliation. Kayla loved her back to be whipped almost as much as her ass and also loved her big tits and nipples to be abused harshly and for long periods of time. K wanted the hardest paddling and most severe nipple torture. S enjoyed spanking, whipping, caning,nipple clamps and humiliating acts of servitude. Sometimes a slave won;t enjoy the actual pain as much as taking it for her Master or because she feels she should be punished. Sometimes she will. Sometimes she will accept punishment and sometimes she will desire it. Let’s hear your thoughts on the topic of punishment!?!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Humiliation and Embarassment. It's All Good!

I see a lot of pet play on the Internet. I'm wondering how you all feel about it? It's obviously popular enough that there are sites dedicated to it. However, I can only see elements that I like. It should be pretty clear I like collars and leashes, I like slaves naked and crawling across the floor, and since I like ball gags and blow jobs it should be obvious that I like to see a slave’s mouth wrapped around something. However my choice for that something would NOT be a newspaper or a bone! I wouldn't have my slaves bark or pant (at least not in the context of panting like a dog). How do you all feel about pet play?
However, this would not interfere at all with how much I love collars, leashes and crawling; which I do not see as pet play, but as submissive and demeaning acts. I not only find erotic humiliation very sexy, but think it is an integral part of slave training and an important part of any relationship with a submissive. This is obviously a broad subject that can be used in many ways, and there will be other posts that cover other aspects of it, like how I speak to slaves and how they say they want to speak and be spoken to, and already I know we have touched on this in other posts too. Kayla and slave S responded extremely well to collars, leashes, crawling and many forms of humiliation and overt subjugation. We all found humiliation like this to be an exciting and important part of their submission. M, as I mentioned, was resistant to leashes and crawling as well as actively performing other demeaning acts at first and was not able to embrace such behavior until there was a mental shift that allowed her to let go completely. A lot of the blogs I find are mainly focused on spankings, with or without implements, and not as much on submission and humiliation, even when they say they are talk about 24/7. When they do mention other things it is often a short paragraph. I have no sense from the blogs I have found what others think of all these things. I have found some foreign blogs that seem to cover more of those details except I don’t speak the language and have to figure it out from the few words I know and the pictures they supply. A lot of those who write about 24/7 end up writing about their personal issues and all the time they don’t get to participate in the scene. This is informative but not instructive. If your relationship is bad--- D/S is not going to fix it, unless it's bad because your sex life is unfulfilling and it turns out you're both interested in D/s, then it could help. The reality is that people and relationships are far more complicated than just great sex. And even people who want to incorporate the scene into their entire life have to realize that disagreements and emotional incompatibility can still come up. Even if you give over control of decision-making to someone else, you will find you have your own wants and needs and thoughts because you're a human being. This is why I can write about a few different women over the years , because the D/s can be great but the relationship can grow apart over the years because of basic incompatibilities outside of sex. Beyond that, you may think you want something but it may run contrary to what you really like or need. Kayla, for instance, would tell me she wanted me to make all the decisions and to control everything. Then, even the smallest decisions like what restaurant we would go to would be question with something to the effect of "are you sure you really feel like that place? I was thinking maybe we'd eat this kind of food!" Despite this submissive desire to give up control Kayla was also a bitch who wanted everything her way. Because she truly did want to be tied up and whipped and commanded to serve this was somewhat less evident during sex. However, even during sex it would rear its annoying head, but not nearly as much as in our daily life. Ah, if only relationships and human emotions were as direct and straightforward as D/s! We would no doubt have fewer partners in our lives but may enjoy it much more! But anyway…back to humiliation. There are, obviously many ways to erotically humiliate a slave; collars and leashes are just the beginning. I will talk about a few others but will leave out what I have done with fruit as you can read about that in a post at the sister blog—Entering Submission. Other humiliating acts that I find sexy and an integral part of submission are drinking and eating out of pet bowls on the floor (however, usually drinks and maybe fruit, but NEVER actual pet food!). Using the slave’s asshole and pussy as candle holders. Making slaves do things to themselves, whether touching themselves or inserting various objects into their pussy, mouth or asshole. Hurting themselves, especially their nipples—twisting and pinching, clamping, swinging weighted clamps, etc. Inserting large or shaped or bumpy things into their asshole. Although all of the subs I know shave while grooming, I them to leave some pubic hair. I like the way it looks; I don't like completely clean-shaven because I don't feel that adults are supposed to look that way. If it is a subs personal preference to shave completely bare I won't force the issue, but besides liking the way a small well groomed triangle of hair locks, I also enjoy making Them pluck out some of their pubic hair with tweezers. Some, like Kayla, refuse to leave any hair and like to be totally clean shaven. So, when I am in the mood to have them pluck their own hair or for me to do it, since I cannot with Kayla, I simply choose a punishment that I know will be much, much more painful and I remind her of why I chose that punishment each and every time. I know some people have made self spanking videos, I have seen professional self spanking videos online and I have read where some dominance have insisted that their slaves self spank. I have never gotten into that myself, and don't find watching that particularly erotic. About the only other self punishments I can think that I have had slaves inflict upon themselves would be where I have a large dildo attached to a chair with some thumbtacks positioned around it and I have made slaves first give the go-go blow job, then have them set their pussy on it to get it nice and wet, both times allowing them to avoid the thumbtacks, and then finally having them sit their asshole's on the dildo and taking it all the way up until they were seated with their cheeks pressed against the thumbtacks. The only other thing I can think that I have done is when I had more than one slaves, and I had them connected by nipple clamps and had them pull away from each other, or had them yelling at stance with a long double headed dildo in both of their asshole's, and made them push against each other to see who could take more of the large dildo up their ass. More likely when I have to subs to gather and I want to watch something I will either have them hurt each other or have some sexual contact with each other. Moving on to other ways that I like to see my subs erotically humiliated, there is cleaning the house naked or in a revealing French maid outfit. Putting a duster or broom or mop sticking out of their asshole or mouth for them to use. Strapping on a face sponge for cleaning or making them use their tongue to clean the bathroom (as I mentioned, I prefer to do this particular thing with a clean bathroom). I am interested to see what some of you have come up with that I haven't even thought of. I have never really taken part in any discussion groups and everything that I've done with my slaves has come from my head or from things I read. My slaves were all less experienced than me except at the beginning when we were both inexperienced. However when we were both inexperienced I had done more reading, looking at pictures and watching movies. When we discussed the fantasies I found that mine were much more involved in varied than the girls that I was talking to. At this point I can't remember to tell you what I came up with and what I read about. There are two things I read, however, that have always stood out in my head. One was from a supposed "real letters" magazine and the other was a book written anonymously supposedly from the Victorian era. In the first one, the Mistress explained that she liked to drink the wine by candlelight so she would “have her slaves bend over a chair and then insert a candle into their anus”. The other was a scene where they had 2 captives bent over a little bench. One woman was bent over and the other was bent the opposite way, so that one's face was positioned right next to the other ones butt an on the opposite side you had the other person's face next to the other ones butt. Both the girls were naked. A man came over what a small whip, pulled down his pants, shoved his cock into one of the girls pussies and after fucking her for a while, pulled out and then fucked her asshole for a while. Then he pulled out of her ass and then put his cock to the mouth of the girl whose face was right next to that girl's ass. If she didn't immediately open her mouth and accept his cock to clean and suck it, he went around with the short whip and beat her ass until she begged for him to put it into her mouth. This went on, with the guy going back and forth from one girls pussy and ass to the other’s mouth, then from that one’s pussy and ass to the other’s mouth, occasionally beating their asses when they were not quick and eager enough to comply. That was a vivid scene I have not forgotten all these years later. Back when I read it I desperately wished I could see that scene in a movie. I never got to see it in a movie, but eventually I got to act that scene out for real and it was every bit as exciting as I imagined. Now it’s true that last thing is more sexual than the others, but I have to think that having your face right next to the pussy and ass I'm fucking and then watching me out of the corner of your eye, as I pull out and present my cock to your mouth has to be humiliating. Admittedly, unlike in the story I read, no coercion was necessary as the slaves willing to do this scene were both into other girls and either knew I would make sure my cock came out of their asshole's clean enough or didn't care, because they eagerly took my cock in every time and never gave me cause to punish them. However, since I wanted to punish them, I held the small wooden paddle and bend over and paddled their asses while they sucked on my cock to urge them to take me deeper. It was an incredible experience I look forward to repeating with new slaves at some point. The only other area I can think of where the acts comprise a large humiliation factor of things like tongue baths and oral servitude. Many times my subs could be found kneeling on the floor with their face buried between my cheeks tonguing my asshole. Or my laying on a bed while they carefully and thoroughly cleaned and kissed and licked every inch of my body with their tongue; paying particular attention to cleaning my feet, my ass, and thoroughly washing my balls with their tongue before moving on to the rest of my body and then ending back at my cock. Other things? Although I have used slaves as a footstool, or more likely enjoyed watching other women use them as footstools, I am not into the whole human furniture thing. I don't smoke but I used to indulge in cigars every now and then, but was more likely to threaten a slave with the lit end then to deposit the ashes in their mouth. It always seemed like a sufficiently interesting and degrading act, but in actuality seemed like a smelly and unhealthy thing to do. I await your comments to see what you have done and what you can come up with.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Thoughtful Master or Gutless? A Question for You.

When I pull things out of my slave’s asses and then present it to their mouth to “clean”, I have already checked it and know it is clean or I don’t offer it to them. When I have them give me, or a woman, a tongue bath, I expect their tongue everywhere, and while sweat is fine, I do make sure all of us are clean. When I have a sub clean my shoes or a Mistresses’ shoes with her tongue, it is a pair designated for such activities and is not worn outside. I do all of this because I am concerned for my slaves health. Does this strike you as sensible, or not sadistic enough? I am curious about this because M, Kayla and K. all at one time or another when we were together realized that I was making sure things were clean. It often came up around the shoe cleaning, they noticed after several times that the footwear they were cleaning was not the same that I or the woman wore when we arrived. What surprised me is that they seemed disappointed by this. After a while I would start slipping on that footwear right before entering the space where that particular slave was waiting so that they would think I was wearing it outside all along. Those slaves that seemed to care about this also seemed to particularly enjoy cleaning the soles of the shoes, and once removed, to do a thorough cleaning between the toes of whoever they were commanded. This told me that it was more than the act that satisfied these submissives, but the actual humiliation of having to really clean off dirt. Even slave S, who was much more hesitant to perform these acts, seemed much more eager to clean my feet or ass at the end of a long day then when she knew I had just showered. What do you have to say on this subject?

Monday, May 10, 2010


I am going to occasionally pose questions here for your feedback. Sometimes, when of more general interest, I may post the same question on both of the blogs; Entering Submission and Training of Submissives, because even though my hope is both blogs would be of equal interest to everyone, our stats indicate that there is only about a 75%-85% cross read, and that about 20% of our readers are reading only one or the other. I think the answers to these questions could be of value to any readers here and that the readers of either blog would have very worthwhile things to add to these discussions. More than posing the question, I will have some comments and experiences to relate as well. Please post your answers as comments to that particular post.

It Isn't Easy Giving Yourself to Another...(your ass is mine....)

You may have gotten the point that anal training for my slaves means being able to do many things to themselves, and far beyond simple anal sex. I guess it's true. Training implies learning and accepting. I haven't met many submissive women who didn't expect to get fucked up the ass. Therefore, I haven't found much need for training in that area. The things that have needed training tended to be getting them to touch themselves the way I like to see, getting them to be able to accept larger butt plugs, getting them to accept taking things in their mouth after they've been up there ass and generally just being more free and uninhibited with the expectations I have for their assholes. Some slaves need more training than others. Kayla wanted to have her ass used and abused. She could take whip handles, dildos and my cock with some time. She had a little more trouble accepting the shape of a large butt plug even though the size wasn't much different than my cock. She had even more trouble getting a large butt plug or dildo up her asshole by herself. I could get them in when she couldn't. Unlike M. she was acted very willing and tried very hard to accommodate but it took her a lot of time to progress. To encourage her, punishment for failure included severe canings, and long periods of nipple clamping with weights hanging from them. Kayla was perhaps the slaves most interested in other women. She had waited so long to be with another woman that I noticed she used to lose contests just so she would have to orally service the winner. She loved sticking her face between another woman's cheeks and licking her asshole almost as much as she enjoyed burying her face between their thighs and eating pussy. She particularly liked licking my cum off of, or out of, other women. Kayla had very large breasts and was also a bit of a snob. She wasn't that interested in being with another woman if they didn't have big beautiful breasts as well. When I was in the mood to particularly punish Kayla, I would bring her to slave M. The reason is, M. is very pretty but had very small breasts. I knew Kayla didn't particularly feel like being with M, not only because of her small breasts, but because of my close intimate relationship with M that dated back long before I met Kayla. Once they were together I would pick contests that I knew M would probably win. As you know, if I wanted M to lose I would just have to make the task anal and self motivated. However, M could take more pain than any other slave I've ever known except for K. Sometime I'll tell you about K! But that's why I use the name Kayla, to distinguish her from this other slave, K. So I would bring Kayla to M, and I would make the contest pain related. Kayla liked to think of herself as able to handle a lot of pain, for me and for her own satisfaction, but her actual tolerance was more moderate. If I wanted to make the matchup more even and not know who was likely to come out ahead, I could make it an unpleasant task instead of pain related. . If I chose to cum on the floor, and have a race to see who could lick up a certain amount the fastest, I could not be sure who would win. If I picked a couple of objects in the bathroom and told them to clean them with their tongues, such as one for the outside of the toilet and the other for the inside of the toilet (even with them knowing it had been cleaned that day), I could not be sure who would win. But if I wanted M to win I need only make the contest between her and Kayla about pain. Because I don't like my contests over too quickly and because Kayla liked intense nipple torture also, one of our favorite contests for the two of them was hanging weights off Japanese clover clamps hanging from their nipples. I would keep adding 1 pound weights. M could handle 5 pounds from each nipple and even swing them when commanded, though not without screaming and crying. Kayla could not do that with more than 2 pounds, and at 3 she could barely contain herself. Another contest is called nipple hanging. Using adjustable alligator clamps I would tighten them until the slave was obviously in great discomfort. We had already placed some nails in one of the walls. They were at such heights that I could pull the chain of the clamps and hook them to the nails, and the only way to keep a severe strain off their nipples was for the slave to remain on their tiptoes. The loser is the one who begs to be released first. This was another contest M would invariably win. Another one was called “the count”. I would choose a very painful implement such as a cane or wooden paddle with holes in it. One slave would be tied down first and the other would be locked in another room with music playing, so hearing what went on in the other room would be difficult. I would then beat the tied slave’s ass as quick and hard as I chose, while we kept count of the strokes. The beating would stop when the slave requested mercy. We would then let some time pass while we surveyed the slave’s well punished butt, so that the other slave couldn't figure anything out from the amount of time that had passed. The goal for the winner of course, was to take the most strokes. That's why one was locked away with the music, so that they would not have the goal of a number of strokes that they had to beat. I wanted them to take absolutely as much as they could. I didn't want them knowing they only had to beat a certain number of strokes. Often, this contest would be two out of three or three out of five. This was another contest M was overwhelmingly likely to win. Only slave K. was likely to beat M at this. But slave K experienced pain differently, or at least it seemed that way, and I would never have thought it fair to match her up with another slave in a pain contest. In fact, when I involved slave K with another submissive, it was to play out a scene and she was either slave to the slave or mistress to the slave. When slave to the slave, I would allow the other slave to do anything she wanted with K., provided she used her thoroughly and punished her harshly. If I felt the slave was too easy on her I would punish that slave as well. When K. was the mistress I held her to high standards to keep me entertained. If she failed she was punished ferociously in front of the other slave. K was another one who also enjoyed intense humiliation. It was not unusual to end one of those scenes with the other slave kneeling over a dog dish with my cum dripping out of her pussy or asshole, collecting it in the dish, and then having K crawl over and clean the cum out of the bowl with her tongue (by candlelight of course, supplied by both slaves asses!) Or having her clean the toilet bowl with her tongue, and then drink from it. It took a lot to satisfy K’s limits..

Behind in your training.

I can't help but notice, when I cruise scene related blogs and websites, that the ass and asshole are very important to our community. I know they have always been important to me. Kyla, a very shapely submissive I was involved with who had a nice ass but beautiful, firm, large breasts, liked to point out that I seemed a more interested in her ass when everyone else who dated her , none of whom were into D/s, were much more interested in her breasts. This made me laugh to wonder how much attention other guys gave her breasts because I spent a good deal of time paying attention to her breasts. Whether it was kissing, fondling and massaging, or torturing her nipples; with clothespins, adjustable clamps, biting clamps, Japanese clover clamps with heavy weights attached to them and even pliers, I paid ample attention to her breasts---just not as much as I paid to her ass.. She really enjoyed intense stimulation though she could not stand as much nipple pain or as heavy weights as slave m. But I like to collect pictures and clips from sites all over cyberspace and I have noticed that I am not alone in my intense desire to do everything I can to a woman's fine butt. So I thought this would be an appropriate topic to discuss what I have done to train and enjoy my submissives asses.

I very much like to watch a slave play with her asshole as much as I do watching her play with her pussy. Slave m was a particularly submissive young lady with a very high tolerance for pain. She love to be tied up, could handle a large amount of nipple punishment and could take a really hard caning or paddling to her butt. She was adept at giving tongue baths and very thoroughly licked my feet and asshole. She actually licked everything very well, but I mentioned those for a reason. I also mention that whatever I put into her asshole, be it my cock or a whip handle, if I then presented it to her mouth she licked and sucked it clean without hesitation. (It should be noted that these items were relatively clean. I always checked them before offering them to her mouth. She never saw this as I did it behind her, but if it was ever soiled, on those rare occasions I never offered it to her mouth. The reason was, of course, to protect her health. I know some people are into handling that differently but not me.) I mention all of this because, despite her willingness to serve, her high tolerance for pain and her enjoyment of bondage, she was resistant to overt submission. She would bend forward, reach back and spread her cheeks at my command but would not use her fingers to play with her asshole. She would get on her hands and knees naked but would not crawl around with a collar and leash. She would very much enjoy masturbating when I held her hand and controlled it with my hand, but would not even touch her pussy on her own without my physical guidance. Once, when we were in bed together and not playing out a D/s scene, I started to use her own hand underneath my hand to play with her pussy. She always loved this which was evident from how wet she got, and she particularly enjoyed it when I would then bring her fingers to our lips and alternate who got to taste her pussy that time, her or me. The way we were positioned she was sucking on my balls while I was alternating using my mouth on her pussy and using her hand to rub herself. I then took her hand, spread her cheeks with my other hand, and began to use her fingers to touch her asshole while I buried my face between her thighs to taste her warm, sweet juices . Being the basically submissive girl that she was, she would not pull her hand away, but instead started sucking very, very hard on my balls, to make sure I was as uncomfortable as she. Despite the discomfort, she was being careful not to damage me, and I kept it up for some time to let her know what I expected. But it was not until we broke up and then got back together that she decided to accept total submission including humiliation as part of her relationship with me. That I will detail more in the specific training of m. Here, I will now go into some of the general practices I did with other submissives to train them anally. Ultimately these are the things I did with m also, but because of her resistance the training was more deliberate and severe.