Monday, April 19, 2010
Where does training start....?
I am not here to debate or discourse on where our dominant and submissive impulses, fantasies and desires come from. If you need to know I cannot tell you where to look. Therapists do not understand it, though more are becoming accepting and less judgmental. Researchers are just now beginning to realize the scope of those into our "scene" and are nowhere near understanding it. We are on our own. I advise you to accept your desires and enjoy them. However, you need to be safe, within the context of the submission and punishment you crave. I think I have been so successful in finding and training submissive girls because, for one thing, there are a lot more out there than people used to think. The other is, though I am demanding, and quick to punish, I am safe and predictable. These are good qualities when you are going to let someone tie you up and hurt you, make you expose yourself publicly, or possibly have you engage in sexual contact with someone you do not know. All of these may be aspects of your submission, depending on the whims of you and your dominant, and therefore understanding your desires and limits, yourself and each other, is crucial. I always know and understand my slave's limits, and while I will always test them and try to expand them, I will never ignore them or severely exceed them. This goes for their limits of pain, humiliation, servitude and exhibitionism. SO for me, training starts when you understand what each other is looking for, what you each want, need and expect from the other. This can be limited submission or limitless pain-slavery...but whatever it is there can be no effective training without understanding.